Jewel Sayings

Kristen writes;

We've found ourselves becoming much more humorous the more time we've been spending with each other. One thing you can't fail to notice about our cousin Jewel, after spending any amount of time with her, is the incredible one liners she comes up with. We really had to share these, you might not find them as funny as we have given you weren't there at the time but it'll give you a little insight into our trip.

"I'm very in-harmony with myself."

"We really need to just record ourselves all the time. Can we just hire a little Asian man to follow us around?"

"Can you imagine when the cave man first tried sugar? 'Holy shit! Can you believe I've been eating sticks and stuff?'"

"Sometimes I just want to follow myself around to watch- then I remember; I get to be ME!"

"Prostitute your affection for food!"

"I don't want to lick the knife clean cause it has a real metallic taste. Also it wasn't clean when I started. (spreading peanut butter onto your food)"

"I never really know what's going on in all parts of my brain. I use that to my advantage."

"Also, sometimes I wonder what my head would look like shaved."

"I have spent so much time, so much of my life really, wondering why I felt so uncomfortable around the Raggedy Ann doll."

"Now, when I make a peanut butter and honey sandwich it's like a painter mixing a perfect pallet."

"Guys, I just figured out why I like peanuts so much! They taste like peanut butter!"

"People don't know what they're missing by not traveling with us."

"At any point you can take; who we're traveling with, what we're doing, how we're doing it, what we're wearing, who we're with, or what we've been talking about and independently draw the conclusion that we're weird."

"That lemon juice is destructive! I would not underestimate it!"

"Did I really just say that? I think I'm developing Turrets... Jesus, please take away my Turrets."

"I'm trying to make them get on the bus with my mind."

"I just really love shower time. I mean, you get to get naked in hot water!"

"Also, somethings going on with my kidney."

"You're tongue is all over this country."

Talking about being a guru- "You have to be true to yourself... Something I learned from Free Willy."

"I'm going to put my pants on so people know I'm serious."

"My glee burst from me so quickly, I didn't have time to prepare my mouth."

"I'm developing an extreme fondness for sheep."

"Also Andrew Zuppaccich reminded me of a stocky little super hero."

"This is the land of peanut butter and honey."

"A foot is just such a good thing. If you tell me it's so many hundred centimeters I just get tired and want to take a nap. I want to stop talking to you."

"Shh, don't tell anyone, cause if there's anyone left to impress I want to take a stab at it."

"Dear Australia- take us to your sheep."

"What's up with these people? Fairies and rainbows and chocolate!"

"Put some peanut butter on that shit!"

"Lets make a game plan..."